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Nobody Cares if Your Butt Looks Big in Those Jeans: A Winning Strategy for Social Situations |
Saturday, 29 December 2007
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Do these jeans make my butt look big? We have all heard this question and it is very tricky to answer without getting into some sort of trouble. We all worry how we look or how we are perceived. Have you ever had to go into a social situation like a party, a networking event, or a reception where you don't know many or any of the attendees? The self consciousness sets in. Does my hair look OK? Are my shoes and clothes appropriate for this event? Will I be interesting to talk to? Is there anything between my teeth? Will they think I am a country hillbilly or will they think I am kind of nerdy brainy type? Of course we can't forget the biggest self doubt question of all; does my but look big in these pants? Just stop it right now! The first rule in social situations is to control self doubt. The most important thing to always to remember is that everybody is worrying about how they look and what area they may be deficient. You should take solace in this. When that doubt starts creeping in just think to yourself each one of those people is more worried about how their posterior looks in their pants to be concerned with you. The truth is that most people think about themselves a hundred times more than they actually think about you. With the rare exception of you bleeding from your face or something between your teeth, nobody is going to notice anything bad about you. After you control the self doubt, rule #2 is the 3 second rule. When going into a party or networking event, talk to someone within 3 seconds. Don't hesitate. Just say ask them something about the party, or where they got something that they are wearing? This serves several purposes. Can you imagine someone asking you where you got your watch that they really like it? Everyone would answer that without being a jerk. You have disarmed them and established a rapport. This will also demonstrate your confidence. If you talk to someone within three seconds you and they have no time to develop doubts or awkwardness. How many times have you thought to yourself "I will talk to anybody if they will just talk to me first" Don't you think a lot of other people think the same thing. If you don't establish rapport within the first 3 seconds you could just stand there all night. Now the clock only start ticking once a person is available to talk to. Obviously if they are across the room or already engaged in a conversation they are not quite available to talk to. The 3 seconds starts ticking as soon as they are in your immediate vicinity and are available to talk to. Try this and you will be amazed at the results. I know a lot of you are saying OK I broke the ice but I am nervous and I am not a great talker. Guess what? That's great because you don't have to be a great talker to be a great conversationalist. Rule # 3 is to let them talk. Ask them what they do, where they work and where they are from. What is their favorite sports team, place to eat etc etc. Everybody loves to talk about themselves. They just have to be asked. Remember not to talk too much about yourself unless asked. Even then try to get it back to them. Listen attentively and ask more questions using some of the knowledge they have already gave you. If you are good at this, the person you are talking to will really enjoy your company. Rule #4 is to think positively and keep a high energy level. I don't mean that lightly. Picture yourself making that sale or that presentation in your mind. I mean see it happen successfully in your mind as if you were watching a movie of yourself. You will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Unfortunately if you let all that doubt creep in you are unwittingly creating a failure movie in your mind and it too will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Henry Ford once said "If you think you can, you can. If you think you can't, you can't". Positive attracts positive. Negative attracts negative. You ever seen a basketball player get in the zone where it looked as if the could not miss a single shot. They are confident and positive and can see the basket in their mind before they take the shot. On the other hand a normally pretty good player can't hit the side of a barn one game. Probably he missed one or two early and started visioning it in his head and he couldn't stop the failure movie. I have 4 basic rules for success in social situations. Number # 1 is to control your self doubt by remembering everyone else is as self conscious as you. Number # 2 is the 3 second rule. (Talk to someone within 3 seconds) The third rule is to let them talk. The fourth rule is to keep high energy and positive attitude. That attracts people. If you follow theses 4 rules, you will be successful at your next social event. I guess that just leaves one thing; the answer to the age old question. Does your butt look big in those jeans? Probably but no one will know but you. Article Source: http://www.ArticleBlast.com |
Preston Sandlin is a home inspector and real estate investor in Charlotte NC. He has been performing home inspections and buying real estate in Charlotte NC for over 12 years. He is a member of the North Carolina Home Inspector's Association, the Charlotte Regional Realtors Association, and the BBB. www.homeinspectioncarolina.com
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