Attitude. We see it in our body language, hear it in our tone of voice and feel it in our bodies. Our attitude can attract or repel others and sets the quality of our thoughts, our relationships and our lives.

It stands to reason then, that consciously adopting an empowering attitude would be the chosen course for most anyone in getting what we want. So why don't we? For many, it could be that we don't know that our attitudes may be hurting us.

2 Types of Attitudes

There are 2 types of attitudes - Useful and Useless. Simply stated, useful attitudes make you feel good and are the major causative factor in getting what you want. Alternatively, useless attitudes don't make you feel good and keep you from your desired outcome.

Useful attitudes:
Cheerful, interested, curious, friendly, smiling, positive-focused, solution-oriented, optimistic, creative, helpful.

Useless attitudes:
Complaining, frowning, angry, argumentative, blaming, disinterested, distracted, pessimistic, miserable

We've all displayed traits of both useful and useless attitudes. What's important is to make a habit of choosing from the useful list more often than the useless if we're going have any hope in getting what we want.

How Your Attitude Shows

Your attitude controls your mind and your mind delivers the body language, tone of voice and the words you use. When you're happy, you look happy, sound happy and use happy words. Your body just doesn't know how to lie - it's working behind the scenes, expressing your useful or useless attitude.

You're in the grocery store, tired after a long day at work. When you finally get to the checkout, the clerk responds to your "Hello, how are you?" with a frown and complaint about how tired she is. She's so busy telling the grocery bagger that she needs a vacation but she didn't get the raise she asked for, that she doesn't see she's practically throwing your fresh produce to her co-worker. This is a really useless attitude.

The next check stand over, you hear the cashier greet her customer in a friendly voice, clearly smiling and interested in the shopper's day. You see the customer stand a little taller as some positive attention is directed her way. As that customer walks away, you see a bright smile on her face.

You can't help thinking that you got in the wrong line.

Choosing the Useful Attitude

A good attitude helps you and those around you - it sets you apart, it makes you memorable. People want to be around people with useful attitudes. This is essential when it comes to forming successful relationships in business and social environments. Here are some tips to engage your useful attitude:

Know what you want - useless attitudes come from people who don't know what they want, or they focus on what they don't want. This is never a recipe for success. Get clear on what you want. People who know what they want tend to get it because they're focused on the positive.

Know your desired outcome - going into any situation, know what your desired outcome is. If you're expecting a confrontation with your boss as you go into the weekly meeting, you'll likely get it. However, knowing that you want to make a favorable impression so you'll be noted for promotion will have you walking into the meeting smiling and prepared with all the relevant information you've been asked to provide.

Know what attitude serves you best - you know what you want, you know what your desired outcome is, now ask yourself what attitude will serve you best. Is an attitude of cooperation going to represent your desired outcome, or will a creative brain-storming approach serve you better.

Refocus and Adjust - at first this process may seem a little awkward, but stick with it and soon you'll be doing it naturally, without thought. When you see yourself coming across in a way that doesn't serve you, refocus your thoughts on what you want - your desired outcome - and adjust your attitude to fit.

Your attitude is infectious - whether it's a good or bad one. The good news is, you're free to choose what kind of attitude that reflects who you are - or who you want to be.

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