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Loving Every Phenomenal Part of You |
Written by Deborah Shipley
Sunday, 07 August 2005
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Have
you ever wished yourself away? I am not referring to leaving your
precious life on this Earth; but rather, just wished you weren't a
certain way or did not have some particular qualities and mannerisms
that were so apparent to you. I know I have.
In the past, I've had a very difficult time when others would point out
my weaknesses to me, either constructively or not-so tactfully. I would
think, " Wow, not only do I think these are big problems I have, but
now everyone else sees them as well." I would hope and pray that these
parts of my personality would disappear into the deep character trait
abyss. I would pretend to myself they weren't present or I would try my
hardest to cover them up. I spent a lot of time and energy on hiding
these areas that I wanted so desperately to vanish. A big first step in
learning to love oneself and in self-forgiveness is accepting every
part of you as the unique person that you are. All of your so-labeled
liabilities can be tweaked into assets, but they must first be
accepted. Otherwise, you are pushing against the grain and not being
authentic to your true self. Let me give you an example of what I am
talking about. In all of my past serious relationships, I have loved
very passionately- so much so, that I've depended on the other person
in the relationship for my happiness (what is commonly referred to as
co-dependence). My moods depended on their moods, their well-being, or
were correlated to the way they were treating me at the time. One can
argue that this is not really love. I feel it was love, but with a very
important component missing-that passionate love for myself... With it,
the "dysfunctional" one-sided relationships may have flourished or an
even more likely scenario~ I would have probably not attracted them in
the first place (but that's a topic for another day). Once I accepted
this as a part of my unique persona I was able to direct it in a more
healthy manner-passionate love for my child, my work, my family, my
faith, and most importantly, myself. You may find your dark sides in
anger, co-dependence, low self-esteem or a combination of these or
other perhaps not so desirable traits. We are missing a part of us by
wishing these traits weren't ours and not owning up to every inch of
them. If we are only loving a part of ourselves or of others, we are
not fully engaged in the experience of love. You know that feeling of
being in a relationship where the other person may "kind of like you"
or you "kind of like them". It doesn't flourish, and neither party is
truly happy. It has been said by finding an area in which you have
found the most struggles, therein lies your true purpose. These are
gifts for us to embrace; lessons are presented for us to learn. Think
of one of your greatest challenges-has that not shaped who you are
today? When you are in the midst of it, it can be difficult; but when
you step back, you see the beauty of it all. Accept your yin and your
yang. Accept your dark and your light. Accept your failures and your
successes. I am not suggesting that we use this as an excuse to not
participate in personal development or self-care, or to neglect to
learn those lessons that are often presented to us throughout our
lives. Instead I am suggesting that we embrace our unique selves and
know that we are not on this Earth to take up space but rather to
fulfill a beautiful life of our dreams in our own special way~ every
valuable bit of us. "If you can't accept yourself, then certainly no
one else will."
~Author Unknown Article Source: http://www.ArticleBlast.com |
About The Author:
Copyright 2005~Deborah Shipley is a registered yoga teacher, publisher
of a free monthly e-zine on self-esteem, and an e-book author. This
article may be distributed provided the author's information is
included in its entirety.
http://www.tipsforinterpersonalskills.com
Copyright 2005~Deborah Shipley is a registered yoga teacher, publisher
of a free monthly e-zine on self-esteem, and an e-book author. This
article may be distributed provided the author's information is
included in its entirety.
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