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Parents As Child Advocates: How to Become a Strong Advocate For Your Children

Written by Michael Cerreto

Sunday, 22 June 2008

One afternoon your daughter comes home from her third grade class and gives you a note from her teacher requesting a conference. You immediately feel blood rush to your head as you ask your daughter if she did anything wrong. When you talk to the teacher over the phone, you get a friendly reception and the assurance that the conference is about something positive.

While sitting in a tiny school room chair the next day, you learn from the teacher that your daughter shows advanced ability in math and you discuss how her talent can be developed. Back at home, your mind starts planning next steps but you quickly run into a roadblock. Your daughter tells you that she does not want other kids to know she is good at math because they might not like her if she appears too smart. You scratch your head wondering what just happened and how you should react.

This is the complex world of parents being advocates for their children's unique talents or disabilities. Similar stories come from families with children who have learning disabilities or behavior problems. Parent advocacy can be more challenging when a child has an inefficiency in learning or behavior that requires other adults to be more sensitive, understanding and adaptive as instructors.

Parents must assure that other adults and institutions provide the support their children need to be successful. As advocates, parents need to play the middle ground between two extremes: one being an inactive bystander and the other being overly controlling. This middle ground requires judgment calls about what is appropriate to assure that your children get the support they need from others.

Parents begin learning how to be advocates for their children by relying on their instincts and day-to-day experiences. Some parents become highly effective advocates over time, while others cannot adapt. Over the years, parents have learned many techniques to be effective advocates for their children. They have shared their stories around kitchen tables and at bus stops. One of the most important lessons learned is how to manage the experts who instruct your children so you effectively advocate for your children's growth, learning, and talents.

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