I was recently invited to a couple's home for an evening meal. I was impressed by the nice atmosphere and great interior design work on the house. As dinner was being served, the husband received a phone-call. He would now have to run out to the office quickly. He excused himself from the table and began to walk out of the room to get ready to leave. The wife then excused herself from the table, and that's when the arguments began. "We never have dinner like a family!" "We can have dinner tomorrow, what's the big deal?"

As a guest and spectator to this ordeal, they both returned to the area where dinner was served and pleaded their case to me. I was a bit taken back by this situation, but gave them these 2 tips to resolve the problem.

1- Understand why something is important to you, not just the fact that you are angry. I saw they were both angry, but the anger was not simply because of a phone call and a return to the office.

2- Tell your partner why something is important to you and not just you are angry. Once you understand the deeper reason behind your anger, sit down with your partner and communicate who you are. There is a risk in being vulnerable, but great risks also have great rewards.

Not just in marriage, but in all relationships try to not make someone else the face on the body of all your past discomforts. Take the time to understand yourself and not just say a feeling.

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