Special needs to exist in order for you to associate any person with feelings and memories. So how do you go about the process of finding a good mate?

There are definitive steps, but most people choose to wander around in a random manner hoping, wishing to collide head-on with the perfect mate. For some the dream comes true while others keep circling in a holding pattern constantly searching the crowd for mister or miss right now.

The rest simply give up and accept a lonely lifestyle or crash into a heap of nerves and emotions. Finding a good mate and partner isn't as difficult as most people make it out to be.

Most is common sense, but your emotions and feelings keep you from having a reasonable and objective opinion and view. Decide EXACTLY what you want in a partner in as much detail as possible.

Write that description down as use it as a guide to help you mentally focus on what you will be fulfilled by and not what you will accept as emotional random chance. Decide BEFORE you start meeting people what you absolutely desire and need in a partner and what you absolutely will not tolerate in a partner.

Immediately eliminate people who don't match that description.

Now your brain and thoughts are only focused on what you actually want and not on the ocean of random faces that confront you every day. It's like searching a crowd for someone in a red polka dot shirt. You can quickly eliminate the majority of people because you are so focused on uniqueness.

There are six other traits that a good partner should have. A weakness in one of these traits might signal a warning before you develop the relationship to any depth of emotion and commitment.

Confidence
A good mate needs to have self-confidence and the ability to interact with others. Independence is the third level of human development and the domain of adults. If this person is too dependent or interdependent they may have harbored childhood characteristics that dilute their abilities and effectiveness as an adult.

Responsibility
The person that will make a good partner is someone willing to take responsibility and accountability for their decisions and results. They don't just understand the label of responsibility, but rather grasp with true comprehension the implications and consequences of human decision.

Flexibility
You view the real world from your center of existence and so does this person. If they are unwilling or unable to be flexible in accepting the views of others or in relinquishing social or functional position and control at times they are likely to be rigid and demanding in other areas of the living process.

Adaptability
Change is always with us and is constantly evolving relationships and life. People who cannot accept change find themselves stuck contemplating the past and ruminating over long past events and memories. They live in the past and not in the present with you. A good partner is adapting and has learned to go with the flow and not associate strong feeling anchors to memories that dig into life and slow down growth and progress.

Patience
This is far more than just standing in line at the store without saying anything colorful. This is the ability to have diliberate pace when interacting with other people in a way that doesn't create chaos or confusion and isn't threatening. Patience when dealing with the emotions of another person or with children and seniors and their unique manner of living and communication. This is the patience you need when you want an understanding and compassionate mate.

Empathy
When a person sees only their own view they are custom made for being single. You need a partner and mate willing to see and feel the world through your eyes and moments of expression. This is the one person that needs to be there for you when you need emotional closeness and that special healing that comes from sharing yourself with another physically, emotionally and spiritually.

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