1. We made a commitment to work things out no matter how hard life gets (and believe me we have had some very rocky and treacherous terrain).
   
2. We took out the word "obey" in our wedding vows and refused to replace it with something else. We believed we were not each other's property, but a team of decision makers.
   
3. We take the time to apologize—even when we don't want to. And even if it takes some working up to get the apology out, we work on making it happen.
   
4. We lift each other up to others because lifting each other up reminds us of why we fell in love with each other in the first place.
   
5. We accept the fact that we both have baggage that we've brought into this marriage and we've agreed to work through that baggage together.
   
6. We've learned to listen to one another—even when sometimes it's a boring thing to do.
   
7. We learned to joke about ourselves and each other.
   
8. We don't intentionally go around hurting each other.
   
9. We vent to close friends who can keep our vents in confidence and not hold them against our spouse.
   
10. We've learned to let our guard down with each other.
    
11. We trust each other and do what we can to keep that trust.
    
12. We have faith that the Lord brought us together.
    
13. We love each other and remind each other of this, often.
    
14. We understand that marriage takes work and commitment and are willing to do our part to make our marriage work until death do us part.
    

In 17 years of marriage, I've learned that marriages aren't fairy tales made up of bubbly, happy go-lucky days and nights. They are roller coaster rides with lots of ups and downs. But if you really want to keep that "new puppy-love" feeling alive just toss in some one-on-one time, a little romance, and a lot of forgiveness. Forgive each other for driving each other crazy, for the little wrongs you've done to one another, and for anything else that isn't a "big deal" in the larger scheme of things.

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